Me? I’m probably somewhere in the middle. I hover when I need to and let him be when it’s right. I give my son his space, but he’s very attached to me so he’s never far. He has his own room, with toys galore, but would rather be downstairs within earshot of me. In fact, if he hasn’t seen me in a while he will yell out “mommy” until I respond. He’s an only child and though he’s extremely social and has a lot of friends, when he’s home it seems he doesn’t really want to be alone. That’s fine, for now. It doesn’t give me a lot of personal time, but one of the luxuries I have is a break pretty regularly when he visits his dad. And I know soon enough it won’t be cool to hang out with your mom and step-dad.
There is such a fine balance for us. When do I push and when do I back off because I can see he’s having a sensitive moment? When do I get involved when he tells me he’s having an issue with a child at school and when do I try to coach him through it without involving the school? When do I get on my ex-husband for not being the dad I think he should be, but know he’s being the best dad he can be? When do I coddle him and make a big deal about an injury and when do I teach him to brush it off and pick himself back up?
The questions come at me daily. Lots of times I follow my gut, knowing what works for us, and act accordingly. But I have learned in the last 8 1/2 years that it’s ok to fail. It’s ok to question and worry. It’s ok to be vulnerable and cry. This is our journey and while it may not be textbook or what the latest and greatest trend is, it is what’s right for us. I celebrate our successes and learn from the mistakes.